Perfection In Front of Our Faces

Do you ever feel disheartened and drained?

Feeling like you’re giving the very best to everyone around you, and you can never count on the same back… not even when you need it the most?

It’s one thing to not get it back during the ‘good times’, but then you can’t even count on a friend to be there when you’re really going through something. That’s rough man.

Knowing you would spend hours hearing your friend or someone you care about vent or cry for hours if they needed, and you can’t really trust, open up to, or count on one person just to hear out your situation. Sometimes we just need someone to listen.

Maybe it’s just me, but I have my moments where this really eats at me.

Maybe it’s the fact that I've lost best friends that I thought were lifelong friends, over things that good friends and good people would never do. Maybe it's the fact where friendships and relationships have ended for seemingly no reason, and it left me thinking, 'maybe if I just had more to offer, I wouldn't be so easy to drop.'

Just being real.

At times I fight feeling emotionally drained and numb towards people.

I know in the spiritual realm, the enemy would love nothing more than to get my view and love for people tainted and to change by using all the hurt, betrayal, and disappointment I've gone through with people I trusted. I pray continually for God to create in a me a clean heart, to guard it, and to renew a fresh love for people on a daily basis, because of this.

My point of this though… is for every person who has ever felt this way… hurt, frustrated, and just sick of investing into one more person that you feel will only let you down in time, stop for a second.

Stop and ask yourself one question.

Are you doing the very same to God?

You get frustrated because people don’t follow through with their word, loyalty, and don’t invest anything back into you… and we have GOD, the creator of heaven and earth, of the sun, the moon, the stars, and everything that was ever beautiful, pure, lovely and perfect… we have GOD over here… just WAITING for us to love Him with everything within us.
Just WAITING for us to invest the time that we invest in other people, into HIM.
Just WAITING for us to go to HIM on one of those dark and lonely nights, and share everything that runs through our minds. Even if it makes no sense when it comes out.

We think its so cute and sweet to be in a relationship with a guy or girl and spend hours talking on the phone getting to know every detail about one another... Well God wants to have that with YOU!

God wants to be intimate with you!
He WAITS to have the relationship with us that we are so desperately wanting and desiring to have with people who are just that… they are just people.

They are human, and they are flesh…. And no one but God is perfect.

The Word says that even at our very best, we are as good as filthy rags!
So why are we surprised when we are let down?
Am I justifying people just being a straight up lousy friend to you? No.

But please, save yourself some heart ache and tears, and know that even the people who love you the most on this earth, will at some point or another be imperfect.

And even those who are literally perfect in your eyes at all times… there is going to come a day where God will call them home. I’m not trying to be morbid, I’m trying to be realistic.

God is LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE who will NEVER leave you, NEVER hurt you, NEVER put ill-intentions in actions towards you.

PLEASE, do yourself and your heart a favor and start investing yourself into God the way you would love for someone here on this earth to do to you. You will not be disappointed!
If you've been looking for somewhere you can rest your heart without worrying about it being shattered, place it in the hands of God. Let Him heal you, and restore you.

He will love you in a moment, the way every lover combined could love you in a lifetime.
He will be a friend like you've never had.

Having a relationship like that with God is literally the most beautiful and intimate thing you could ever imagine.

Below I've put some scriptures that will help remind you, just how special and important you are in God’s eyes.

When we find our worth in the love God has for us, we will never lack.

"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."

Matthew 6:33

"...or whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye"

Zechariah 2:8

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

Jeremiah 29:11

"But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Proverbs 18:24

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."
John 15:13

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:37-39

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved ...”
Ephesians 2:4-5

“…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8

“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:6-7

“But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.”
Psalm 86:15

Purpose Through the Pain

Over two years later and I find myself having days that make it feel like I lost her yesterday. 

I have days where I feel like I could cry and cry and the pit would still be empty.

The process of grieving is such a roller coaster. Just when you think you’re okay, the next day I find myself in my car crying or at work on the verge of tears. It took forever for me to even feel ‘okay’ about losing my Grandma… It almost feels wrong or sinful at times how long it’s affected me.

My mom says we should be happy and at peace because she made Heaven her home and that’s the ultimate goal right? Well I am honestly happy for her… I know she’s in a place she lived her whole life to get to... and its not even about the ‘place’... shes with God!! Shes with the love of her life!! She loved Jesus so so so much. She lived her life to see Jesus one day, and she did it!!

I still picture her most vividly in my mind when I think of the way she would raise her hands to Him and tears would stream down her face. She was so sincere, so genuine… filled of so much love for Jesus and us.

I think the reason it’s been so hard on not just me, but my family and others to lose her is because she was seriously a piece of Jesus on this crazy and hectic earth. She truly was an extension of Gods body… of His love, His wisdom, His strength, she was filled with so much Jesus that having her gave security the way Jesus does. Am I making her my God? Not at all. Please don’t take what I’m saying out of context… but what a gift and Blessing she was that God gave me to have such a beautiful influence within my life.

I want to live a life like hers. Where my presence in someone’s life makes a positive difference.
I know she would never want me or any of us to hurt for her…
but I think it just shows how amazing she must have been.

With all this said… I promise it’s not my intention to depress you or make you pity me.

My point is to say I am thankful for the sensitivity God has given me through the loss of my grandma.
I can understand others and pain so much more
I thought breaking up with a boyfriend or losing a friend was heartbreaking… nope.

Nothing compares to this kind of pain.

I’m not trying at all to downplay other hurtful situations, trust me –
I’ve gone through those and know how real that pain is!
But for me – personally – this is a whole new level I have never experienced before.

Moving forward…

Within the last year one of my best friends lost his dad… as I started praying, I started sobbing for him. The pain I felt for my friend and his family was that of what I felt the night I found out I lost my grandma. I went into intercession in a way I never have been able to before - where my heart shattered and I felt breathless.

Just this past week, a young 15 year old boy was killed in a hit and run. I didn’t know him… but something about this broke me and has weighed on me so heavy. Last night after a week of thinking about this, I prayed for the family.
Again, I started sobbing and was able to intercede in such a powerful way.
For a family I’ve never met or even seen – I was able to weep for and step in on their behalf to ask God for peace, comfort, strength, and a drawing during such a time.

Am I saying this to glorify myself? No.
But I am seeing God right now, take the deepest pain in my life, and channel it into a passion, sensitivity, and a burden for others.

At times I have asked God… "God is this supposed to be hurting me this much? I feel like I’m not letting you heal me, or something is wrong with me... why have I felt this so long?
Am I a bad Christian?
Does this mean I don’t love You enough? Am I not finding enough peace and strength in You? Had I made Grandma my god without realizing it?"
At times I've felt ashamed for feeling how I do.

But its situations like this… that show me, maybe, just maybe…
God wants me to know what this pain feels like – so that I can pray, intercede, and have the sensitivity for others the way I am able to now.

So today, I encourage you today, to take whatever painful situations you have gone through – and let God help you to channel them into His purpose.

Do you need to lose a family member? No.

Have you felt brokenness, loss, heartache?

If you have – that’s enough. Pain is pain and pain is universal.

Let God use the pain you've experienced to help another going through that same thing.
It doesn't even have to be the same situation.
Just be there for someone who needs love, and who needs to know that they aren't alone.
Just pray for them the way you would have wanted someone to pray for you.
Pray with your whole heart for someone else.

That’s what this life is all about right? This life is not about us!

It’s about God, living a life that will please Him, making Heaven our home, and getting others connected to Him intimately – so they can make Heaven their home too. 

Don't Drop the Ball.

For awhile now, God has been laying something on my heart that I just cant seem to shake.

Before I get into what that is, let me ask a simple question...

Who likes to be let down?

Anyone?

Does anyone deep down enjoy the feeling you get in your stomach when it feels as if all the butterflies have died, and the person you thought you could count on the most does something that seems to be totally out of character, and it leaves you wiped out on the floor,

looking at them like, what just happened?

You were suppose to have my back.

I trusted you. I counted on you. I would have had yours.

I’m going to take a wild guess and assume that no one likes how that feels.
I also have a feeling that as unfortunate as it is, all of us have experienced it.

Whether it be big or small, or it came from a close friend, significant other, family member, someone you looked up to, or even just a situation that happened, we have all experienced it.

It could be something as simple as your best friend not inviting you to a group hang out, or maybe your special someone has given up putting effort into your relationship. Maybe you didn’t get the grade you worked so hard for, or you never got the call back on that job. Maybe it’s as something as devastating as a parent walking out on your family, or a best friend stabbing you in the back.

Let down is inevitable.

God is LITERALLY the one who will never let you down.

Now…. Onto what God has been dealing with me on…

I was siting in Sunday School Class and our assistant Pastor was teaching on the importance of studying the Word of God. He was saying how there are going to be people who are going to approach us and have sincere interest and genuine questions about God and the truth, and will be looking to us for answers. When that time comes, we need to be ready.

The next thing he said hit me SO hard, and honestly felt like it knocked the wind out of me a bit.

“Don’t drop the ball.”

That’s all he said.

Simple right? But this statement seriously impacted me so much!

Suddenly all I could think about were recent situations where people I trusted, confided in, and opened my heart up to, turned on me, hurt me, and let me down in ways I wouldn’t have thought they ever could. The shattering realization of thinking something was strong and unbreakable, when actually it was.

And it made me think…

Maybe this mind-blowing pain and feeling like I had the rug ripped out from under my feet was for this very moment;  so that I could REALLY feel and understand what it felt like to have someone drop the ball on me.

But guys, this was SO MUCH WORSE!

Think about it – this was not just a friend letting me down –

this was ME letting down a LOST SOUL.

A lost soul who was depending on me for an answer that could be vital to their Salvation!

Not just a temporary pain here on earth, but an eternal suffering, pain, and torture; because I wasn’t ready.

Because I wasn’t read up, prayed up, hadn't fasted, wasn't in tune with the spirit of God to know what to speak or how to act. Because I was so caught up in myself, my issues, my plans, ME, ME, ME. To the point that I haven’t been using my time, energy, resources, or focus to prepare myself to be ready and on guard for when it was time to step up and reach out to someone who was genuinely hungry and searching for God.

I know this may seem a little dramatic and like a lot to grasp from such a simple statement, but the thought of this happening shook my very core.

I don’t want to be so caught up in myself, that I totally miss the opportunity to reach someone who needs Jesus.

I don’t want to drop the ball. Not when that much is at stake.

I encourage you today; to focus in on things that are going to have eternal value.

I am in no way trying to downplay education, careers, relationships, etc … but it's easy to forget that we are not going to be able to take any of it when the trumpet sounds.

However- souls – souls we can!!

BUT – we’re not going to reach them by being passive and experiencing moves of God every Sunday and Wednesday. Being a soul winner is going to take more than regular church attendance.

It’s going to take daily consecrated fervent prayer. Its going to take studying and knowing the Word of God and what you believe, long before you are confronted with questions from an unbeliever. Its going to take pushing away your plate and showing God that His power being able to freely flow through you is more important than feeding your flesh.

You CAN do it! Its NOT too late.

God can restore a passion and love for Him & lost souls.

He can give you an anguish so strong for the lost, that it will push you out of your comfort zone to reach them.

He can help you hunger to read His word, and thirst for His Spirit daily.

I’m right there with you, fighting. 

Fighting to push aside things and situations that fight for my attention every day – so that when someone who is lost and looking for God crosses my path, I don’t drop the ball. 

God Bless Friends <3 :)